Your Self Identity is only comprised of the choices you make in your own life. Uneven, broken and imperfect.
Maybe I was wrong. I must have made a wrong decision somewhere. Maybe I just never took the time to see it. Some people struggle with their issues their entire life – yet, eventually, they exhaust even their own justifications. Sometimes there just isn’t anywhere left to go and nothing left to do except look at yourself. Quite honestly, I am still pissed off.
It becomes impossible to hide anymore. People think they see you through the one-dimensional web page online, maybe they’ve seen you offline, in the supermarket, in a class, in the elevator – they think they can encapsulate you, compartmentalize you.
“I see you”
“I acknowledge you”
“I honor you”
“I see through you.”
It is not an acknowledgment.
Look at the reflection of what your life has become, see it looking back at you.
What do you see?
People walk their own path. They walk a path that is devoid of emotion, unknown to you or your past experiences. They don’t regard the effort of others as important or significant, we are all on the outside looking in. We are more willing to watch an animal video to feel better about ourselves or hold judgments about someone we know who made a decision that doesn’t effect us.
But here is the thing, the excuses you tell yourself are inconsequential, and the excuses you tell others (or to reinforce your own reality) are just weightless justifications. The real decision has already been made, long before you even wanted to acknowledge it.
It’s called self-deception.
It is absolutely imperative that I understand that the reasons surrounding that decision – are arbitrary and inconsequential in relation to your own process. It always has to do with your past.